Feeling Light

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I love the way the light falls at this time of year.

There is a golden richness to it, one that invites you to sit outside for a while with hot tea or cold cider, savouring the last sweetness of summer before the long dark of winter sets in. It feels melancholy to me as well – the bittersweet turning of the year seen in the way that the sun sets earlier each night, sending long furls of colour across the sky.

This may sound like a whole lot of waffle – however, light is something that has always fascinated me. I’ve travelled to quite a few places and each had their own light, caught in the feel of the sky and the way the sun hits the land. The high wide skies of Canada, speedwell blue reaching north. The blinding white hot of a Sydney beach at midday, when to be without sunglasses would render you almost blind. The pearl grey light of the Irish coast, mist from the sea softening the sky. The silver-blue-grey of a Melbourne winter, dark nights and frost on the gum trees. The shimmer of Venice, light reflecting from the water onto ancient pastel palazzos, crumbling into the dreaming lagoon.

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I saw the northern lights once. It was in the mountains north of Vancouver, the sky full of stars as there were no man-made lights to obscure their show. I woke in the night to see a slowly expanding starburst of light above me, floating above the dark pine-clad peaks. While it wasn’t the rainbow shimmer of Scandinavia, it was still awe-inspiring to see – one day I hope to go further north and see the curtains of colour ripple across the sky.

I also like the way light behaves at different times of day, and often use it in my descriptions when writing. I think it’s a nice way to convey to the reader what time of day it is, as well as adding mood when necessary. My favourite time of day is sunset, though I do enjoy the early light of dawn as well – there is something about the transition between day and night that I find to be full of potential, stories lying in the shadows between light and dark.

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A Question of Time

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Perhaps it’s just me, but I’m finding that time seems to be moving in strange ways these days.

The gorgeous child is back at school and so I have five glorious hours to myself each day to work, far more than I did over the six weeks of summer holidays. More than enough, you would think, to take care of the house and admin and various clothes people need. To clean and plan meals and keep the place tidy. To finish my No Quarter edit and publish, as well as delivering daily blog content for my current client.

I had grand plans, you see. Plans to use my time wisely, to eke out those five hours like someone squeezing pennies from their purse, each minute carefully guarded and used as required. I was going to start meditating regularly again, instead of the few snatched sessions here and there when I had ten minutes to myself. It was going to be fantastic.

And it all started so well last Thursday. I woke early, was ready and had all in place for the child when she awoke, both of us out the door in plenty of time to get to school. When I came back home I was on track. I got through my chores and writing in what felt like a fairly good use of time, going to pick her up with a heart content from having achieved a good day’s work.

Friday was still good, though I started to have a nagging suspicion that someone, somewhere, had sped time up slightly. Midday seemed to arrive a little earlier than I expected, as did school pick-up. But I shook it off and pressed on, still convinced that all was well.

Then Monday hit. And for some reason time escaped me completely. My day ran off the rails and, even though everyone else got to where they needed to be at the right time, I ended up doing the ironing at 9:30pm, which was when I should have been on the couch watching FriendsFest (and oh, I am laughing my head off at the Friends reruns – a guilty pleasure).

And here I am on Tuesday, the day nearly half over. I feel as though I may have a better handle on time today, though I’m still running a little behind. So I would like to ask whoever it is that manages these things, if they can just slow things down slightly. Bring them back to normal, if they don’t mind.

Or, maybe it is just me, after all. 🙂

 

 

 

Before You Publish…

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Chris The Story Reading Ape posted a link the other day that got me thinking. It was about a blogger – a cautionary tale, really. She had been using images from the internet to illustrate her blog posts, but had been unaware that she didn’t have permission to use those images. When a photographer called her out for using one of his images without permission, she found herself liable for court costs and a usage fee, money she didn’t have to spend.

Quite a few years ago, I worked in advertising, and one of my roles was as media buyer for a large agency. That meant I had to find images for creative teams and then, if they wanted to use them in an ad, I had to negotiate a usage fee for the image based on who was using it, where it would be seen, for how long, at what size and a few other variables. (I also had to do the same thing for any models we used in photo shoots – a whole other set of conditions).

This was valuable experience to have when it came to setting up my own blog, and the reason that I use my own photography 99.9% of the time. It also came in handy when working with a designer to create my own book covers. The sword artwork on Oak and Mist is my own illustration, while the tree, strap detail and leaf icon are purchased images. My upcoming book, No Quarter, once again features the sword image, but the necklace is a stock image. I had to purchase not only the right to use the image, but an extended commercial license which allows me to use it on a book cover for up to 500,000 copies (and if I even get close to selling that many, I’ll be thrilled! :-))

Front Cover Image

If this sounds expensive, it’s not – I think I spent less than £25 on the necklace image and extended license, a lot less than any court case or fees I could run into if I’d used the image without getting the correct permission. There are a lot of online stock photography sites offering free images, credit bundles or subscriptions, which you can use to download images as required. I wrote a post about this previously, discussing the different type of images available for use, but my recommendation was to always, always read the fine print.

When I visit blogs and see images being used that are obviously stock images, I do wonder whether they have permission to be used. Of course, the blogger in question could have commissioned the artwork or photography themselves, bought the license to use them or even got them from a free site, but, as many of the images are not credited, I can’t be sure.

So I thought I’d write this post, just in case. I’m certainly no expert, so please don’t get shouty (though feel free to let me know if I’m barking up the wrong tree) 🙂 Nor is this legal advice – simply what I’ve learned through my own experience. However, when posting images on your blog, proceed with caution. If you haven’t taken the image yourself or have permission to use it, then don’t.

xx

 

 

 

 

Night Scribbles

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I woke last night with a half formed idea for a blog in my head. Something about rejection and happy thoughts and yet acknowledging it was tough yada yada.

I tossed and turned and mumbled about it, then went back to sleep, a smile on my lips, certain I had a nice post for this morning. But when I woke up the idea that had seemed so good at whatever-o-clock in the night now felt kind of silly. And the thoughts that had held it together and made it seem workable were breaking apart, like tatters of silk in the wind.

A friend once said to me ‘Go to sleep on a question, wake with an answer.’ This is actually a pretty good way to address things sometimes – it’s certainly worked for me with several character issues I’ve had. One character, who I had written as quite awful, had been whispering in my ear, insisting he wasn’t that bad, that he had reasons to be the way he was. And he was right.

But then how could I justify him doing ‘the very bad thing’ he  needed to do in order for the plot to turn out the way it did? For there was no way around that – I’d thought on it for weeks and there was no other option. So I went to sleep, keeping the idea in my head, and when I woke the answer was there. I suppose you could say this is a form of mindfulness, of targeted thinking with a desired result, and so that’s why it worked.

The tatters and rag-tag ends of ideas that come to us, unbidden, in the night are quite different. Some of them are excellent and worth keeping, while others, like my post, are not. I have on occasion woke with fully formed sentences wanting to be written down, or characters insisting to speak. But for the most part they are things like this classic Tumblr post, which always makes me laugh.

So how about you? Have you had an amazing idea for a story arrive in the middle of the night? I do confess I keep a notebook next to my bed, just in case inspiration strikes. But for the most part it is rag-ends and bobtails, disappearing like mist as the sun rises.

The Turning of the Year

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It’s the last day of school holidays.

Autumn beckons, though no doubt we’ll have several weeks of warmth and brilliant sunshine once the kids have gone back to school. And I am having the slight wobble I do at this time of year, as the wheel turns and my daughter goes into a new year.

I’ve written about this before, how empty the house feels when she goes back, how much I miss her. Despite all the dancing orangutans and minions and Keep Calm posters showing up on my Facebook feed, extolling various joyous captions about ‘the kids going back to school!’, I don’t really feel that way.

And yet.

There is a delicious sense of freedom that first day back, coming home to a quiet house, the hours stretching before me to work uninterrupted. For I have a lot of work to do. Yesterday my editor sent me the final edit of No Quarter, the next book in my Ambeth series. It’s just sitting in my Writing folder like an unopened gift, waiting for me to delve into the pages and make final adjustments before hitting Publish and sharing it with the world.

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So there is a lot of planning to do, some promotion and finalising the cover, updating Goodreads and Amazon, getting in touch with libraries and reviewers to let them know it’s being published.

The spreadsheet documenting my daughter’s summer social activities* will come down from the study wall, to be replaced with a marketing schedule for my new book, and a list of term dates as we count down to the next precious days we get to spend together.

And I will turn my focus back to work, the balance swinging to the other side of the page.

*yes, I had to do a spreadsheet, after missing an arranged ‘date’ with a friend – it’s the only way I could manage it. The child has a better social life than I do! 🙂

A Family Adventure

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The clouds were gathering, rain threatening, but it was Bank Holiday Weekend so we were going on a family adventure, no matter what 🙂

After discussion and consultation of maps, Avebury was decided upon. It’s somewhere I’ve always been keen to visit and, as it was only an hour and a bit away, it was deemed appropriate for a day trip. And we enjoy exploring, we really do. My husband is still finding his way around the country, while I’m rediscovering places I remember from childhood. And the gorgeous child is always up for a day out, keen to see somewhere new.

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So rain jackets and umbrellas were packed, the car filled with petrol and we were off, fingers crossed that the M25 would be more forgiving today, painful memories of almost missed flights and bumper-to-bumper traffic making us wary. But all went well and an hour or so later we were approaching the massive henge, so large that a village has been built in what was once the centre.

And I lost all reception on my phone. Which was a bit odd.

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We parked, then made our way along the overhung-with-green pathway leading to the looming ridge surrounding the circle. There were a few other people out but not too many, as the rain had started to fall in earnest. We walked the short avenue leading into the first quadrant of the circle, marvelling at the huge stones and wondering how on earth they had been brought here and put into place. I reached out to touch one, laying my hand flat against the cold stone, rough under my palm.

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And I felt a buzzing, tingling sensation, like pins and needles. My daughter put her hand on the stone and she could feel it as well, though perhaps we were both just kidding ourselves. There was a humming in the air too, but only I could hear that – water on the ear, perhaps? I thought to myself how extraordinary a sight it must have been when all the stones were in place, like a dance across the green field bounded by chalk.

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We kept going along the curve of stones, noticing flowers left as offerings in the nooks and crannies, the rain still coming down. Crossing the road that cuts the circle in half one way, we found ourselves in the next quadrant. There were more stones here, a smaller circle within the large one, and steps leading to the top of the ridge. Making our way up to the top we started along the chalky path, marvelling at the depth of the ditch and the work it must have taken to dig.

Beneath the trees at the edge of the circle a group of women in bright clothing were gathered. Some were whooping, others dancing and hugging each other as a drum began to pound out a rhythm. There was a full moon last night, and I felt maybe that was what they were celebrating, though I couldn’t be sure. Then, as the ridge curved around we saw a small group of trees, so close together they seemed as one, the roots twisting and twining fantastically along the earth, while the branches were hung with ribbons and tokens.

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This seemed a magical place indeed, and the gorgeous child was disappointed she didn’t have a ribbon to leave there. But we decided a large chocolate button was a nice compromise and so one was left, I didn’t see where, and a wish was made.

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Down the ridge we went, to the second road cutting through the ancient henge, where we crossed into the third quadrant. This one was home to sheep and goats, some of them incontinent, it seemed, by the minefield of droppings we had to negotiate as we walked along the ridge. We made it fairly unscathed into the field where two large stones known as ‘The Cove’ stood close together, both of them over twice my height and massive. Another loomed behind the wall of a picturesque old barn enclosure, and I wondered what it would be like to live in the shadow of these stones.

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We crossed the road once more and entered the fourth and final quadrant, leading us to the old church and manor house. Once again the remaining stones were imposing, one pocked with small holes that looked like faces. We passed through into the old farm and manor grounds, spending time in the Barn and Museum where we learnt more about the history of this extraordinary place, and men such as the one nicknamed ‘The Stonekiller’ who sought to destroy the stones, knocking them down, breaking and burning them, before building them into the walls of the houses nearby.

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As we came out of the Barn, gorgeous child pointed up to the top of the church tower. ‘Look at all the birds,’ she said. I turned to see ravens perched on every corbel and point of the old tower, at least thirty of them. But as soon as I looked at them they took off, each and every one, a black squawking crowd passing overhead. Which was kind of odd, again.

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We came full circle past the Manor House and old Church, past cottages and brick homes, before taking the green path back to our car. The rain had stopped, the stones wet and gray against the vivid green grass. As we left the henge behind we saw a cricket game being played, a perfect summer village image.

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And for a moment, there might have been a hum in the air. Then it was gone.

Update: The lovely Sue Vincent, who is very familiar with Avebury, told me that the buzzing and humming are well documented phenomenon at the site. How cool that I got to experience it!

Of Ironing Boards and Boats

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It’s probably reasonably well documented that I’m not a fan of housework, feeling it takes up time I could spend doing other things such as writing. However, there is one household task I quite enjoy. One that I find meditative and soothing. It’s ironing.

I know, right? I can hear the screams from here. But there is something about taking a basket of crinkled fabric and converting it to smooth hanging clothing that I find very satisfying.

Many years ago, just out of high school, I worked for a clothing factory as a presser. I had a really cool (well, I thought it was) ironing board that had a suction pedal, so you would lay the fabric flat, press the pedal and it would be sucked tight to the board. It then only took a few moments to move the heavy steam iron across and smooth out the wrinkles. The iron was set to one temperature only – hot – and that was what we used, whether it was silk, polyester or cotton we were ironing.

The ‘we’ I refer to is myself and two Vietnamese ladies, the three of us standing in a row on our section of the factory floor, racks of newly sewn clothing next to us waiting to be smoothed and slid into plastic wrappers, ready for delivery. We would often chat as we worked, the rhythmic motion of the iron, the hiss of the suction pedal becoming second nature, freeing our minds up to discuss whatever we felt like.

I asked the ladies about their homeland, and what they missed about it. I was an immigrant myself so I could understand the yearning for home, or so I thought. It turned out these ladies were boat people, refugees who had left their native land in search of safety after the devastating war. I don’t know about you, but I think it takes a special kind of desperation to leave your home forever, entrusting yourself and your children to a rickety boat in an unforgiving sea.

Migration is part of human history since the earliest times – it’s how we colonised this planet, after all, taking our first steps out of the Rift Valley to find more. More land, more resources, more ideas. Wars have displaced people for almost as long – after the Second World War my husband’s grandparents, scarred after all they had experienced in their native Belarus, applied to leave. When they were asked where they wanted to go my husband’s grandmother chose Australia, as it was the furthest she could go from where she was. They never went back.

And now my husband is back in the Europe his ancestors left over half a century before. And that’s the other thing about migration – just as people arrive, so too do they leave. In search of more. More work, more sunshine, more money, more culture, more lifestyle. I’ve lived in a few places myself, fortunate in that my movements across the globe were as a result of work and love, rather than war and disaster. And even though I loved so much about the places I lived, eventually I came to realise that I yearned for home. The place where I was born, the flavours and scents and sounds, the way the light fell across the sky. And that’s what the Vietnamese ladies told me they missed too. Their home.

Funny what you think about when you’re ironing.

In The Hedgerows

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Today we braved the rain, the wasps and thorns and nettles, even the occasional spider. We walked along muddy paths with trees dripping above, laughing at each other, faces damp inside our hoods. We searched for treasure, night dark, glistening among the green leaves.

And we found it.

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Sweet and tart, nature’s bounty, tumbling from the hedgerows. So ripe that some were rotting on the brambles, left for birds and insects or trampled underfoot.

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Does anyone pick blackberries any more?

A Journey Through Ambeth

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‘Together they walked to the Gate, the sun waning as the day began to end, a cool breeze blowing through the glowing green woodland.’

Over the weekend I visited a park I’ve known for years. I used to go there as a child, and my mother and grandmother also played there as children, so it’s somewhere very dear to me. It holds magic, as well – the magic of living close to somewhere so wonderful, exploring hidden pathways and sunken gardens, of watching my own daughter play where three generations of her family played before her.

'The War Memorial loomed like a golden tower'
‘The War Memorial loomed like a golden tower’

It’s also the inspiration for my Ambeth Chronicles. In the books it’s the park near to Alma’s house, the place she goes when she needs time to think. It’s also where she is attacked and pushed through the tree gate into Ambeth, emerging on the other side into a different world. So it was wonderful to walk the familiar pathways and see them through my character’s eyes, another layer of magic added to an already special place.

'past the tennis courts and playground and the small cafe'
‘past the tennis courts and playground and the small cafe’

I took photos as I walked, wanting to capture some of the places on film. The park features all the way through the series of books, and so I considered words already written and twists yet to come, drawing more inspiration from the leafy green.

'she wandered through the Gardens with Caleb... Hedges rose around them like a maze and every corner revealed something new...'
‘she wandered through the Gardens with Caleb… Hedges rose around them like a maze and every corner revealed something new…’

And then I thought I’d share them with you 🙂

'Alma saw she was near to a gap between two oak trees, beyond which she knew was a track that would take her to the end of the park and home.'
‘Alma saw she was near to a gap between two oak trees, beyond which she knew was a track that would take her to the end of the park and home.’

In My Own Voice

Book envy? Me?
Book envy? Me?

Suzie over at Suzie Speaks wrote a great post the other day, all about blog envy. She wrote about how it’s natural to compare our work to others and that, ultimately, we just need to get over it and get on with our own work, which I thought was a great sentiment.

Her post made me consider the fact that, when I’m in the midst of writing a book, I really don’t read much at all. And I’m someone who is normally an avid reader, often having several books on the go at one time. I wondered to myself if maybe, it was book envy that stopped me reading – that to read other published work made my own feel ‘not as good.’

Most authors say that, in order to write, you need to read as well. Stephen King states that he reads every day, citing an impressive list of books read in a single year. He reads for part of the day, then writes for the other part – an easier thing, perhaps, for someone with grown children and an assured income. (not that I am envious, not at all!) I do agree with the fact that it’s helpful to have read a lot before starting to write – after all, reading teaches us much about what we like and don’t like, as well as how to structure a book, embellishing threads of plot into each page to draw the reader deeper into the story. The books we read are part of what forms our own writing, whether consciously or sub-consciously. And the worlds we inhabit during those pages are also part of what inspires us to create our own.

So then I considered that perhaps I don’t read while I’m writing because I’m too deep in my own world. Even when I’m not writing, I’m still working through the plot in my mind, characters creating ideas as I dream, the story drawing me in to a point where to enter another world, no matter how briefly, is a distraction rather than an escape. And perhaps this is closer to the truth.

I’m away from home and my current WIP at the moment and I’ve started reading again for the first time in a while, trying to disengage my writer’s eye from the story and simply inhabit the world that has been created, walking through someone else’s words. Of course there are books I read, prose that fills me with joy, characters and dialogue that simultaneously lift me and throw me into despair that I will never write like that. But I have to remember it’s because that voice belongs to someone else. I have my own voice and, as a writer, that is the voice I need to use.

So, book envy? I’d be lying if I said I’d never had it. But it comes from a place of appreciation, rather than frustration. And I also agree with another thing Suzie said – that you should be proud of what you’ve accomplished. It’s no easy thing to write a book, despite the old saying that ‘everyone has a book in them.’ Everyone has a story, certainly, but to craft words into telling that story is as complex a process as painting or composing music.

And that’s what I need to remember. 🙂