A Head Full Of Should

Winter is coming...

I woke up today with a head full of ‘should.’

Mondays often start that way – a list of things running through my mind, hopeful of accomplishment during the week, usually sadly disappointed. ‘Should’ is often ignored. Today, however, ‘should’ feels louder, and more urgent.

It’s not completely a bad thing. There are, after all, things I ‘should’ be doing. Things I really need to be getting on with, to be honest. But the word ‘should’ and I don’t get along too well. It’s a word I find to be heavy with guilt and expectation, scrabbling fox cub claws in my belly. It’s a word that makes me go ‘why should I?’ in a whiny inner voice, a weird sort of self-sabotage, perhaps, or an instinctive bucking against any sort of restraint.

Somebody recently suggested to me that I replace ‘I should’ with ‘I choose to.’ So I did. And it does make a difference. ‘I choose to’ feels lighter, somehow, and as if I might actually have some control over the proceedings. There is no guilt, no devil on my shoulder nagging – rather, there is the calmness of conscious choice. It’s really rather nice.

However, ‘should’ is a hard habit to break. And so there are days when it comes back to ride me once more, driving me to the embrace of the sofa and crisps, rather than the work I should, I mean, I choose to be doing.

Well, enough of my Monday musings. The day is almost over now, and it’s time to share this post. Not because I should, you understand, but because I choose to ;-D

Wishing you all a happy week x

 

36 thoughts on “A Head Full Of Should

  1. I like that – a lot. I’m the queen of the guilt trip, and “should” is the scepter of that realm. So, I now choose to get on with my writing, instead of noodling around Google Maps any more. Thank you!

    1. You’re so welcome, Sarah. I wasn’t sure how this post was going to go, so it’s lovely to see it resonating with people. Sometimes making a small change can be a big difference πŸ™‚

  2. Story of my life!!!! I felt this exact same way yesterday- thank you for sharing because it’s nice to know we aren’t alone in that πŸ˜‰ Love your perspective of “I choose” rather than “I should”. It adds this freedom and control. Thank you for your Monday musing- love it!

    1. Thanks so much! I’ve said to a couple of people that I wasn’t sure how this post would go – after all, I’m lucky to have the choices I do. So I’m pleased to see it resonating with people. And ‘I choose’ is so much more powerful, isn’t it? πŸ™‚

      1. Heck yes it is!!! And that’s how I feel about most of my posts hahah. I sometimes press submit and am like, “Will anyone even get this?”. But usually ALL the time people do connect and resonate. Blogging has taught me so much about the way we may feel alone in something, but often times we really truly are not. Whoops- I’m rambling now! Have a great rest of your week, Helen!

      2. Thanks so much, Mack! Hope the rest of your week has gone well, and sorry for the delayed reply – I don’t know how I missed your response. Wishing you a lovely weekend too and I totally agree, blogging has taught me so much x

  3. I had to cut the word should out a while ago because of work. Saying to a group of 8 people in a training session that something ‘should work’ when you actually know it does work 100% gives an air of uncertainty. Now I just say and that ‘will’ work. Where there’s a ‘will’ there’s a ‘waaahey’ lol

      1. It’s a good word for telling people how you get rid of other peoples cats out your garden. Well, I just should them away…shooed…gerrit? Hahah

  4. I agree, ‘should’ is laden with guilt and tyranny! Such a horrible word. Someone quite wise once told me that ‘should’ was someone else’s voice, not your own. I suspect that most, if not all, of the time this is true. Thanks for writing thisβ€”it’s resonated with a few of us! x

    1. Thanks, Louise πŸ™‚ I’m glad you liked the post. It was one of those ones I had to consider carefully, as I didn’t want to sound as though I were whining – I know I’m very fortunate, really! πŸ˜€ Should really is an awful word though, isn’t it? I’m really starting to realise that now and how it’s affected me over the years.

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