Kaleidoscopic Dreams

Kaleidoscope flowers

I’ve been ill this past week or so, but am feeling better now. It was one of those bugs that alter reality, high temperatures and blocked head putting me in a strange, dream-like state where I wasn’t sure, at times, what was real and what was not.

My dreams were strange as well, lucid then spinning away like a kaleidoscope of images, as I travelled landscapes familiar and bizarre, the line between sleep and waking somehow blurred as the illness took hold. Kaleidoscope, I recently discovered, is apparently the collective term for a group of butterflies, and that’s how the dreams felt, blots of colour flying about, at once near yet untouchable, all around me.

I wrote some stuff, nonetheless. A little challenge for Sacha, some blog posts, even managed to do a little editing (once I’d completed my list :-D). I also had to keep on with most things I usually do, fortunate in that I work from home and so could take a break when needed.

But the interesting thing, the lingering effect, is a sort of loosening of words onto the page. As though whatever burned its way through my system last week changed the way I thought and saw things, and how I expressed them.

I remember reading Aldous Huxley’s Doors Of Perception years ago, about his controlled experiments with peyote in the 50’s, and the way it changed how he saw the world. While I’m certainly not advocating drug use, I wonder if I’ve just taken my own sort of fever-fueled trip through my subconscious, awakening ideas I might not otherwise have accessed.

Or maybe I’m still unwell and this is the last of my fever delusion…

It’s Back! Giveaways & The Next Radio Request Show

It’s back! Steve from Steve Says is back on the radio with his request show tonight from 8-10pm (GMT). So turn on and tune in as he drops pop hits from across the years, plus make a request and get some blog promotion (I’ve already put mine in). There’s giveaways and banter, plus it’s becoming a bit of a Twitter party, so hope to see you there 🙂

Hugh’s Weekly Photo Challenge – Week 17: Calm

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I’ve missed a few of Hugh’s Photo Challenges these past few weeks, simply because I didn’t feel I had the right shot. However, this week I hope I meet the challenge – the theme is ‘Calm’ and here is my image.

It’s a shot of the beach near to where I used to live – our house was only a few minutes walk away and I could hear the ocean at night, humming in the darkness. The waves can get quite wild, rocks battered and sculpted into twisting shapes, the moving sands throwing up curling breakers when the wind and tides were right.

So this beach was more wild than calm , though it was often deserted, families preferring the safety of the bay. The ocean on this side brought treasures, carried on the waves coming up from the frozen South. I remember one day when the sand was covered with sea urchin shells, left in undulating lines where they had come ashore, victims of some undersea cataclysm. Glass and shells made perfect mermaid jewellery when the gorgeous girl was tiny, soft rubbed green and blue shards glimmering in the sunshine, heaped into a ‘treasure’ pile as we searched for more.

The reason this image speaks to me of calm is because this is the place where I found calm again. After a few years of stress and sorrow and losing my way a little, this is where I was able to get back on the path. To take a moment and just… breathe.

I feel very fortunate to have lived in such a place, and carry a little piece of calm with me wherever I go, treasure from the sea.

 

 

 

A List Of Things I Have Done Today While Editing My Next Book*

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*While I was supposed to be editing, on a day I had set aside for editing.

  1. Made two loaves of bread
  2. Done three loads of laundry
  3. Answered emails and comments
  4. Faffed around on Facebook
  5. Read other people’s blog posts
  6. Written my own blog posts (including this one)
  7. Added some scenes to my fifth Ambeth book (not the one I’m editing)
  8. Ordered groceries
  9. Watched a video tutorial on how to make mayonnaise.
  10. Made mayonnaise
  11. I also considered doing a writing prompt for someone else.

😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

I might start editing now, I guess…

 

 

Wednesday Wander – Haiti

Haiti 1This is a photograph of a ruined brothel on the shores of a pristine bay in Haiti, which comprises the western half of the island of Hispaniola. I visited Haiti briefly nearly thirty years ago and, I have to be honest, had a fairly sanitised experience in my short time there. Nonetheless, I was struck by the beauty of the place, and the juxtaposition of an old brothel against modern scenes of happy beachgoers.

Haiti has a troubled history since European settlement. In the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries it was known for its lucrative sugar cane plantations worked by slaves, all of whom were horribly mistreated. An uprising in 1791 ousted the colonial masters and brought an end to their cruel practices, making Haiti the only nation in the world established  as a result of a successful slave revolt.

Haiti 2

In recent years Haiti has suffered from political turmoil and the devastating earthquake of 2010, in which much of the country’s infrastructure was damaged or destroyed. This combined with ineffective government and a subsequent cholera outbreak has meant that the country is still struggling to recover. And yet it remains a place of outstanding natural beauty, with many of its historical landmarks still intact, including those that predate European settlement. To see more photographs of Haiti as it is today, this excellent article by National Geographic features photographs of Haiti by Haitians, as well as their stories.

Thank you for coming with me on another Wednesday Wander – see you all next time!

#BlogBattle – One Year Anniversary Edition

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I’m fairly new to Rachael Ritchey’s Blog Battle, but am really enjoying the challenges so far. And, guess what, I won one! My entry Behind The Mask, for the theme word ‘Hair,’ was voted last week’s winner, so thank you very much to everyone who read and voted for the story.

This week’s theme is a little different. As it’s the one year anniversary of BlogBattle, Rachael has asked us to re-post one of our entries from the past year. As mentioned, I haven’t been doing this too long so don’t have a massive back catalogue of stories to choose from. However, I’ve decided to re-post the first one I wrote, which was for the theme word ‘Forest.’

It’s a vampire story, which now seems to be growing into a full length novel – in fact, I’ll be heading into the virtual woods at Camp NaNoWriMo next month in the hopes of writing a good chunk of it. I only shared this story a few weeks ago, so apologies to those of you who’ve read it already – however, for those of you who haven’t, I hope you enjoy it.

Silver And Black

‘C’mon.’

He held out his hand, a darker silhouette against trees silvered by the moon. I knew his eyes were a similar shade, but I couldn’t see them. I couldn’t see a damn thing, really, other than faint lines of pale branches against a clotted blackness.

‘You know I can’t-‘

‘Can’t?’ The silhouette tilted his head. I knew he was smiling, could hear it in his voice. But I couldn’t hear as well as he could. Another thing that pissed me off.

And I had to be so careful how I moved, what expression showed on my face. I smoothed down my skirt with damp hands. This was stupid. I should just go home.

All at once he was in front of me, and I glimpsed a faint gleam in his silvery eyes before he bent his head to kiss me, sharp teeth grazing my lips, hot/cold breath turning my insides to honey. Okay, maybe I could do this, I thought as I clung to him, my hands sliding inside his jacket.

Then he was gone, just as fast, leaving me alone in the clearing. I froze.

‘Kyle?’

No answer. I tried to control my breathing, but I was starting to panic. Was this a trap? I strained my ears, listening, eyes wide against the darkness under the trees. Was something moving there?

Okay. Screw this.

I kept my face smooth, just in case he was somewhere, watching me. The branches creaked, eerie in the cold night. I unzipped the pocket of my leather jacket, pulling out my phone. My mouth twisted a bit then, I couldn’t help it. But I had no choice. I had to call my mother.

The screen came to life under my fingers and I scrolled through. Not that there were many contacts on my phone. But before I could make the call arms came around me, and I felt teeth grazing my ear.

I jerked involuntarily and the arms softened, letting go. Then Kyle was in front of me, one hand coming up to touch my cheek, smoothing away a tear that had snuck out, despite my best efforts.

‘Hey,’ he said. His voice was soft, all the teasing gone. ‘I’m sorry. I forget.’

I couldn’t say anything for a moment, mingled relief and anger choking me. I shook my head, tucking my phone back in my pocket then swallowed, clearing my throat. ‘I want to go home,’ I said, my voice higher than normal.

‘No.’ He breathed the word, his arms coming around my waist, his body close to mine. ‘I really am sorry. Will you stay with me, a while longer? There’s somewhere I’d like to show you. And then I’ll take you home, I promise.’

I purposely didn’t look at him. I didn’t need him trying to glamour me. Did I want to stay with him? My body was screaming, yes, Ohmygod, are you crazy, staystaystay. Then my mind joined in. Damn.

‘Fine,’ I said. Possibly a little ungracious but then, hey, he was the one who’d left me out here alone. ‘But,’ I went on, looking at him. ‘Don’t leave me again, or I am going.’

‘I promise,’ he said, taking my hand and bringing it to his mouth. I tensed. He smiled, his tongue flicking out against my fingers before he kissed them and let go. I took in a shaking breath.

‘So, where are we going?’

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And that’s all, folks! Visit Rachael’s page to vote, read more entries or even add your own.

Tangled Thoughts

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Bleurgh. It is amazing how much a head cold/chest infection thingy can cloud the thinking. I had great plans this week for editing and writing and letters and submissions, not to mention a bit of exercise now that the weather is warming up. However, they have been overtaken by a desire to sit huddled under a blanket on the sofa as I mainline peppermint tea and crisps, trying to shake a nasty bug.

There seems to have been something in the blogosphere this past week – Lucy at BlondeWriteMore, Kristin at pursuitofanewadventure, Sue Vincent at The Daily Echo and Allie Potts were all struck down as well, making me wonder whether viruses travel through the web, digitised and sentient, searching for their next innocent blogger victim.

And this is what I mean by a woolly brain! What a thing to think. And yet, is there a story in it? This delirium thing might be useful after all… 😉

Feel The Fear And Publish Anyway

Don't be afraid to shout it out!
Don’t be afraid to shout it out!

I’m currently in the editing stage of my third Ambeth book, Hills and Valleys. It’s already been out to beta readers and I’ve made several adjustments based on their suggestions, all very much in keeping with the spirit of the story. And I’ve just received editorial notes from my editor, Lucy, who is fantastic in that she really ‘gets’ the story, and therefore makes really useful suggestions when it comes to narrative flow and character development. One of the great things about being an independent author is that it’s then completely up to me as to which suggestions I run with, though, as I’ve said previously, I tend to agree with most points she raises.

I’ve been writing copy for other people for years, which I find quite different to writing my own work. By the time it’s published it’s been edited back and forth, shaped and reworked to fit their vision, not mine, so I usually feel quite detached once I see it in print. But seeing my own work printed, holding my own book in my hand, knowing that the words in there are OUT now, that strangers are reading it, is quite a different thing. And so I want it, therefore, to be the best version it can be. A professional edit is, to me, worth every penny. I’m not privy to endless streams of cash, so I do have to plan ahead and budget, but it’s well worth doing. And beta readers are invaluable for picking up plot holes and inconsistencies, things we are often blind to after staring at our work for so long.

So, all this is a long way of saying: YOU MUST SHOW YOUR WORK TO OTHER PEOPLE.

This may seem completely obvious – after all, we write so that others will read our work, don’t we? And yet, especially when it’s your first book, this is something that’s easier said than done. Sometimes it might seem easier to just press ‘Publish’ and let your story wander out into the world, at the mercy of whichever reader might pick it up, rather than subjecting yourself to the ordeal of feedback from people you actually know. When you’re writing about love or anger or s-e-x, you are drawing on the deeper emotional parts of yourself – to then share these things with people you know is a curiously intimate process and can feel quite confronting.

Yet you have to. You have to do this. I attended a seminar some time ago with several literary agents and one of them made this point very clearly. You have to get used to other people seeing your work. So you have to stamp down that little voice that says it’s not ready, it’s not good enough, no-one will like it. And you will, hopefully, be surprised.

I find it much easier to do now. This blog has helped a great deal in terms of confidence, as have all the comments I’ve had, and the positive reviews. Yet there is still that moment when I see the email come back from a beta reader or editor and think ‘Oh god, did they hate it?’ Which is ridiculous, of course. But nonetheless it is there. And if they do hate it, if several readers pick up on the same thing, then I need to take it on board and make changes. After all, this sort of feedback is kinder coming from people you know before the book is published, rather than anonymously in black and white, preserved for posterity in the reviews.

So, even though it may feel as though you are stripping your soul bare, you need to step back from those words, from the story that for so long has been just the two of you in a quiet room. Share it around, show off a little. After all, writing a book is an accomplishment in itself.

Happy Birthday to YOU! (Discounted and FREE books)

It’s Kate M Colby’s birthday today and, to celebrate, she is offering her book(let)s for reduced prices or even free! So stop by, check out her work and even wish her a happy birthday! 🙂

Thursday Doors – St Mary’s Church

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This is one of the entrance doors into St Mary’s Church, Hemel Hempstead. I love the colour of the wood and the curling ironwork hinges, reminiscent of the more ornate doors at Notre Dame, Paris.

St Mary’s Church is in Hemel Hempstead, England. It is a Norman building, built between 1140 and 1180, and has a wonderful 14th century spire, one of the tallest in Europe. The Church is still in use – friends of mine were married there, and you can hire out the adjacent Church Hall for parties. It’s located in the Old Town, and there are plenty of stories about Henry VIII rampaging through these parts, chasing after Anne Boleyn. I wonder if they ever visited the Church? 😉

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————————————————————————————————————This is my entry for Norm 2.0’s Thursday Doors Challenge – to see more doors, or add one of your own, visit his blog and click on the link.